I can't even come up with a titles for this post.  I'm not really sure it needs one.  I'll give you a little background info.


I'm 25, the mother of two sweet pre-schoolers and the wife to a hard working husband.  As far back as can remember, I've always been "bigger" than everyone.  Oh how I wish that meant that I was taller.    I was little growing up.  I can remember when it all started too.  And I in no way blame my parents on this but it started when they divorced.  I was raised by a work-aholic father who didn't spend much time at home to cook healthy meals.  My sister graduated high school when I was in the 5th grade so she moved out and went to college and it was just me and dad.


Over the time span of middle school, I transformed.  I grew up and got pretty I guess you can say.  In high school, I was still bigger than my friends.  I was a size 14 and wore a L or sometimes XL.  I could still wear American Eagle petite jeans, I top the height charts at a whopping 5'1", and I was sad that I wasn't a 2 or 0 like my friends but I was active.  I was on the Drumline in marching band and played percussion in the symphonic band.  I hated running but living in Alabama during football season with band practice was a serious workout.  I stayed the same weight all through out high school.


Then I moved to college.  I moved 4 hours away from my comfort zone.  I moved to Knoxville, TN to begin my freshman year at the University of Tennessee.  I was alone.  I spent a lot of time in my dorm room.  I developed new friendships and and still best friends with those two today.  I didn't drink much or party but instead I ate.  I remember living off of pizza rolls and fast food and cafeteria food.  I remember buying my first size 16 denim skirt.  I didn't think anything of it.


Being away from my comfort zone got to me.  For the first time since I was in school I failed.  I was an A-B student in high school and now I was getting F's.  Needless to say, I wasn't allowed to return to UT.  But I was okay with that because at the time I had reconnected with my now Husband who lived in Alabama.


In 2005, we started dating.  In 2006 I was pregnant with our child who was born in 2007.  I gained 60 lbs.  By the time I got pregnant, I was about an 18-20.  I don't know how much I weighed exactly.  I never looked at the scale for the most part.  I just saw it creep up but I was pregnant.  Our son was born in June of 2007 and shortly after, and I like 4 months later, I find out that I am again pregnant with our second child.  That was when I saw the scale tip past 200 for the first time.  I gained 25 more lbs with our daughter who was born in 2008.


I know that I lost some of that weight because I was able to fit back, albeit tightly, into my prepregnancy jeans from our son.


I lost some weight in 2010 but only pretty much due to depression due to the fact that my husband and I were separated and I couldn't function enough to take care of myself and my children so I focused on them.  I didn't lose much but that 2 month separation was killer.


Here I am 2011 weighing in at 254 pounds.  I can wear, depending on the manufacturer, a size 20 or 22 jean and a XL-XXL shirt.  My BMI is 48-49.  That's 1-2 away from "super obese".  Right now, I am classified as "morbidly obese".  That stings.


My family is my reason for change.  My two children are my life and I want to spend as long as I can with them.  I have a history of Heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure and cholesterol  and diabetes in my blood line.


I've tried diets and going to the gym but nothing really helps.


I'm looking at my options for Weight Loss Surgery, or WLS.


This is my story.  This blog is my place to cry, fret and stress over the process of getting approved to start a better life style for not only myself but my family.